告訴家人你的愛

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告訴家人你的愛

愛你在心口要開，善用愛的語言，家中有如天堂。 江林月嬌 translate by: Violet Chen


從老三出生不久，我們一家五口便開始用「愛的語言」來互相善待。這些語言包括：
Since our third child was born, our family started practicing the “Five Love Languages” among ourselves.


愛的語言 Love Language

1. 鼓勵和讚賞的話：除基本的「請」、「謝謝」、「對不起」之外，也指出具體事實。例如：「我好高興看見妳……」，「你很好……，因為……」，「妳好棒……」，「你真行啊……」。
1.Encouragement and Words of Affirmation: Besides the basic :Please, Thank You and I am sorry, we try to make the message specific. Like: “ I am so thrilled to see you…” , “ You are so nice, because ……” “ You are cool …..” “ You are so talented….”.

2. 身體的接觸：例如摸摸頭、拍拍肩；彼此擁抱或親吻額頭、臉頰；以及並肩散步時手牽著手。
2. Physical Touch: a simple pat on the head, or shoulder; a smack on the forehead, or chin, a hug, or taking walks hand-in-hand.

3. 高品質時間：以彼此間相互瞭解、聯繫感情、心思交流為目的，且是一對一、心對心的交談。
3. Quality Time: For the purpose of mutual understanding, connecting with one another on an emotional level, communicating the ideas in our minds, making it an one-on-one and heart-to-heart connection.

4. 服務的行動：幫助倒垃圾、刷馬桶、割草……等瑣碎的例行事務。跑郵局、銀行；做可口的晚餐；分配全家人一天的唯他命丸；分擔家庭突發事時增加的工作量，例如：有家人生病時，定時量體溫、內服藥；或外敷傷、消毒、清理等工作。
4. Acts of Service: helping family to take out garbage, to clean the toilet, to mow the lawn….am endless list of routine chores; errands to the post office, bank; preparing a delicious dinner; dispensing the one-a-day vitamins to family members; sharing the unexpected extra load of work when crisis occurs; for instance: when family member got ill, to take temperatures routinely, to bring the medicine according to the schedule; to put patches on topical injuries; to disinfect, or to clean up messes.

5. 貼心的禮物：重要節慶時，特別是個人的特殊日子，送份貼心感人的小禮物，令(她)驚喜，讓(他)感動。
5. Receiving Gifts: For special occasions, especially the “special days” different individuals, a thoughtful surprise in the form of gift may add extra touch to your relationships.


得知家中成員對互相鼓勵、讚賞有共同的喜好，我們作爹娘的更加努力帶頭。兩年多來，成果豐碩，使全家洋溢著歡笑與詳和。
Noticing the mutual encouragements and appreciations or having common interests and hobbies among children would reinforce parents to be even better role models. After two years of persistent practice, the joy and harmony we reap in the form of bountiful harvests and fruits are indescribable.



「不客氣！」 You are quite welcome!

十四歲的老大，自有老大哥的風範，就事論事，絕不加油添醋，更不灌人迷湯。但是，他真說好聽話時，總不忘露出笑臉。
Our fourteen-year-old first-born often displays the traits of his birth order. His matter-of-fact nature is often shown in calling a spade a spade. Do not expect him to flatter or unduly compliment you, even though when he means business for an affirmation, you would not miss his big smile.

大哥哥幫助家人做事時，不忘說聲「You are welcome！」(不客氣)的絕招：
When he was being helpful in chores at home, you can count on him to always say 「You are welcome！」

替妹妹打開冰棒包裝紙，遞上，外加一聲：「不客氣！」
When he helps unwrap the Popsicle wraps, he will add: 「You are welcome！」

幫忙倒完垃圾，返身跑回廚房，向媽咪說：「不客氣！」
After he finishes taking out the garbage, he would run back to the kitchen and reported to mommy「You are welcome！」

為弟弟換臭尿布後，憋住氣，跑離現場，吸足新鮮空氣，再跑回來說：「不客氣！」
When he got done changing the stinky diaper for his younger brother, which he did holding his breath, he would run away from the scene to inhale some fresh air and then run back to say「You are welcome！」

老爹在車庫忙得滿身大汗時，遞上飲料，外加一句：「不客氣！」
When he hand a cup of cold drink to his sweating daddy busily doing maintenance job in the garage, he will add: 「You are welcome！」



情深意重 Expressions from the bottom of her heart

六歲的小公主，注重人際關係，早晨起床後，晚間就寢前，都可以聽到她親切的問安聲。一旦有度假外宿，節期將畢，離開前一晚，總要鄭重其事地與親朋好友道別、擁抱，在機場時，小淚人兒總是叫人不忍與她道別。
Our six-year-old little princess pays detail attentions to personal relationships. Whether after people rise up in the morning or ready to go to bed at night, you will hear her sweet 「Good Night！」Sometimes when we go on vacations, and before the time of departure, she will spend the evening before that saying good-byes and giving hugs to every relative, and at the airport departure, her teary look would make it hard for grandparents to bid us farewell.

本性善良，溫柔體貼，說到深情處，眼淚就奪眶而出，她的真情是不容置疑的，其待人絕活是：r
Her kind-hearted nature and tender-loving personality often would well out in teary expressions with intimate moments. Her affectionate character is apparent. To summarize her golden rules in interpersonal relationship:

真誠 + 讚美 + 感恩 = 愛 Sincerity + Praise + Thankfulness = Love

哥哥你今天好棒，因為…… Older brother, you are great, because ….
弟弟今天好神氣喔！他…… Your younger brother looks so handsome today. He……
媽咪，我好愛妳、好愛妳喔！我真的不要妳老了…… Mommy, I love you so, so much! I really do not want you to grow old…

爹地！我可不可以幫你？因為我真的不要你太累…… Daddy, can I give you a hand? I really do not want you to get too tired……



青出於藍 Student Excels the Teachers

三歲的弟弟，耳濡目染，有樣學樣。但不依樣畫葫蘆，而且常常有新招，大有青出於藍之勢。
Having influenced by the daily role-modeling, the three-year-old youngest brother caught up with the good habits. Not only did he learn a great deal from the kind words, he even sometimes out did his teachers.

一日，家中宴客席畢，客人離去時，弟弟和爹地送客到門外，望著友人步下石階，大夥兒突然聽到小人兒開口說：「以後再來玩，小心開車喔！」
One day, when our guests are leaving, he walked with daddy to see them off. While watching our friends stepping down the stone walk, suddenly, he broke out in silence :” Come back some other time. Be careful with driving!”

晚餐是全家人歡聚的時光，大夥兒飯吃到一半，忽聞稚嫩的童音道：「謝謝媽咪煮好吃的東西給弟弟吃！」「謝謝爹地工作賺錢，拿好多好多錢回來！」頓時，平日看不見的工作收入，好像從銀行中跳了出來，花花綠綠灑了一地，全家人差點噴飯。小人兒還一本正經等著爹娘說聲：「不客氣！」
Dinner is the family’s time to relax and enjoy. In the middle of everyone’s hearty meal, he blurted out:”Thank you mommy for making such a delicious meal for me!” “Thank you daddy for working hard to make money. You brought so much so much money home!” Suddenly, those hard-earned green bills seemed jumping out from the bank, scattering all over on the floor, we were so much humored by his comment that the swallowed rice almost spit up with the laughter. And Little Brother would not forget to add:”You are welcome”

讓全家大小並肩攜手，營造一個溫馨的家，你和你所愛的人，必在其中享受到「只應天上有」的喜樂。
Let your whole family walk together hand-in-hand, build a warm love nest together. And Let your loved ones enjoy the kind of joy that should only be found in heaven!


讓回家成為一種享受，因此： Let going home become a kind of enjoyment, therefore,
當精神疲憊軟弱無助時， When people are worn out and down cast,
當壓力沉重喘不過氣時， When the pressures around cause you not able to breathe,
當感情受創瀕臨崩潰時， When you feel that you are about to break down emotionally,
家，回家！ Home, Go home!
我要回到充滿家人佳語的家。 I want to go home where the sweet words fill the air!



(刊登於《愛家雜誌》 Focus on the Chinese Family 第四卷 第二期 1999年2月 陳吳郁娜 譯)